Ezra Joseph

I went back and looked and I wanted to write something about each of my children and only got through the first 3! I don't want to miss out on telling you about my last 2 kiddos and the 4th one to come along was Ezra Joseph. First of all, I love the name Ezra. I have always loved it from the time I met a great kid with that name. I'm so thankful we had at least 3 boys so we could use it! It is unusual but not too bad to spell! At least I thought so. Ezra went into the hospital when he was about a week old - 10 days old maybe. I looked at his chart by the bed and it is a notebook and his name is on there spelled ERAZ.... what?? How can you mess up a 4 letter name!

Ezra means "help" or "helper" and I just love the book in the Bible (read it sometime it is not long!) where the KING wants to know more about God's word/law. So he asked for the most wise, most knowledgeable person to come and teach the whole nation and him and who did they get? EZRA! That's right, buddy! Ezra! And my little guy (who is 4 right now) has 2 cow licks on his head (in the hair) and that means he will be super smart! (Ok so maybe its an old wives tale but still, what's the harm in believing it for my son??) His middle name is "Joseph" and that means, "and God shall add". We thought that was appropriate because God surprised us with him and GOD added to our family! Not that we weren't thrilled just surprised. It also is the name of our beloved pastor who has mentored us and given us hope when we were burned out and left for dead. His name will live on in our son Ezra Joseph. I will always be indebted to Apostle/Pastor Joe for the wonderful family life he taught us that we can have.

Ezra is the most calm, easy going child. I just love the fact that he wants to sit in my lap and for as long as I will let him. He is very observant and in some ways a little sneaky. We called him our "stealth bomber" because he is silent and strikes in different places and you are left to even wonder who it was that did it! We were trying to get ready to paint the house (inside) and had primed over some marks on the walls. Well, the next day, in permanent Sharpie marker, is Ezra's name with the "e" and the "r" backwards, on the wall that I just primed! At first I thought it was just marks and the baby did it, then I looked closer and it was his name, and here he was acting all innocent even pointing the finger at little brother and the whole time it was him. Now, that's not to say he isn't spirited. He is very close minded to any form of discipline, he will scream at the top of his lungs if I put him in the corner or time out. I guess, since he got away with things (stealth bomber, remember?) he doesn't exactly like the consequences when he gets caught. But he apologizes and moves on with his life.

He is so cute, too! He does these faces that are hilarious! One we call the "eyebrow face" where he lowers his chin and practically looks at you with his eyes rolled back and through his eyebrows! He has the smoothest, brownest, most beautiful skin. I rub his belly and his sweet cheeks and man, I would love to have the kind of skin he was blessed with.

He is going to school (pre-school) for the first time in the fall of 2008 and he is going to do very well. He gets along with everyone and even though he may be a little shy at first, he is so fun and huggy and cute that you will never remember that. He also has a little stutter where he says a word over and over while he is thinking of the rest of what he wants to say, he will get over that really quick. The Lord healed him early in his life (see above hospital visit) he had a mass of fluid in his lungs and was in the PICU for 5 days and stepdown for 2 and regular room for 1 day, he has spent the longest time (at once) in the hospital (of all my kids). They said he would be back with all kinds of lung problems (he went in in October so it was just the beginning of winter and all the possible sicknesses during that time of year) but he was totally fine and has not had any problems since then. It was just a thing that the Lord wanted me to know that He is in control of my kids, and not me. The other way He did that was during the birth of Ezra. I went in at 10pm or so in labor and stayed all night going through contractions when they gave me the shot of antibiotics needed for safe travel through the birth canal, it went in my IV so I turned over on my side because it burned my whole arm and I felt a big movement in my belly when I did that. Well, Ezra flipped into a breech presentation! He was back first so totally breech. They talked to me about risks and craziness and in the end we decided to have a C-Section instead of try to turn him. It was pretty traumatic for me, I expected to be up and about right away like before but now I was in constant pain just sitting and had to stay in the hospital for 3 extra days and try to figure out what I was supposed to do with my kids when I was only planning to be "gone" for 2 days! He made himself known that very day, the little stinker!

One thing I will always remember about Ezra is how he holds up his arms to me and says, "Hold you?" I never correct his grammar because he will grow out of even wanting to be "held" and he will definitely learn to say "hold me" instead of "hold you", but for now, right now, I love it with every fiber of my being. It says to me that he loves and trusts me as his mommy, plus he's so snuggly and soft that it makes me feel just as good as it makes him feel.

I love my little Ezra (who will probably not end up so little!!).

This is what happened at the school today

I showed up at the school without an appointment and as soon as I gave my name, the secretary asked "is this about what happened last night?" So the principal was summoned and apparently had other obligations which were put on hold for this important matter. She had not been informed until I came about what happened. The secretary told her what happened (from her POV) and then the teacher in question was summoned. He came very quickly. We talked it out and the principal was very surprised that a teacher transported Daniel when that is never done. It came down to several things, the most important issue to me was the fact that my son was transported without permission. Now, the only saving grace that I can say is that the teacher actually knew my father personally and for many years, so he, as a friend of my dad, decided to take a chance and take Daniel to "Pa's" office and that he would not do that with any other student. It was a big chance and thank the LORD nothing happened. I accepted this as a explanation because I, in fact, have known this teacher since he was a child, and know his parents and family, too. The only thing that I would want to be changed was if they could have called and left a last message saying what they decided to do under the circumstances. The principal was really surprised that he decided to do this. And if she had been there or the vice principal would have been there it never would have happened. Another issue that preceeded this was the fact that there was not updated phone numbers in which to call and no "extra" numbers, this was of course my fault. I should have called in and said that since our cell phones are not on for an undetermined period of time, here are some new numbers to call just in case. My brother's number had changed and the only other numbers on there were cell phones that were off at the time. The other main issue that I had was the checks and balances making sure kids get to detention ("D-Hall"). No one ever questioned why he was not there, no one had a list of kids who were supposed to be there. Well, apparently this issue may never be resolved because it was not an unusual situation to have a kid skip d-hall. They USUALLY hop the bus home and then the school's hands are tied and they just give them an extra day of d-hall. MY son had to not only skip but stick around! They had never had this happen before. Usually this would have been resolved quickly because if I would have been available by phone, I would have said "get that kid to detention"! The last issue is Daniel, he just perpetuated this cherade for the secretary and teacher, did not tell them he had d-hall, did not tell them that he KNEW I would be at the library, and it went so far that he got a free ride to "Pa's" work which was a great payoff for him! He got exactly what he wanted. He didn't think it through to the end, though, because this affected a lot of people. The principal was truly concerned for his safety and had not had an incident like this for quite some time. I mean the way an 11 year old can manipulate the system like this? Shouldn't the system be changed if this happens? At least tweaked! She (principal) had Daniel come to the office while I was there and we both talked to him and explained how his actions affected so many people. That he is to never do things like this again. We hugged and sent him on to class. We had talked last night and he was crying as he said he was sorry for scaring me. He will not be going on a camping trip this weekend, he has to do his brother's and sister's chores through the weekend because this effected the whole family in a negative way and he gets Saturday detention for this stunt.
The issues with the school are still there in a way. I feel like they heard me out, they did what they could while I was there, and I got everything out in the open. I voiced my concerns about the detention checking thing and since this was a first for them, and is not a significant problem and is usually resolved with a phone call, I don't think they will change anything. The teacher will be spoken to by the principal, and again since nothing happened, I don't know what I can do more besides address the issue at hand which I did. This is a new and unusual situation, and the last 10 days of school so I understand why they are not jumping to change policies and proceedures, however I would have liked her to say that they would look into their current policies since these are kids who are looking for ways to get away with things!
I think I accomplished what I wanted to and got what I wanted initially. Next school year, the middle school is moving to a new building and it will only be for 6th, 7th and 8th grades. I think that with the 5th grade thrown with the middle school that they forget that they are only 10 and 11 years old. They still need to be checked up on. 12-14 year olds need that too but in a different way. I'm sure this will be an incident that will be remembered and prevented in the future. If my son goes there next year I will look into things and make sure there is some checks in place to keep the kids safer, even the kids who try to get away with things.
So now, you my dear reader, what should I do from here? What more could I have done? I would like to hear different points of view. Not ones that say I should have gone to the school half-cocked and demanded resignations of all involved, that's a little extreme and not respectful and remember my son was the one who knew better and totally did the wrong thing. It would be interesting for me to hear what you have to say, so post and let me know! I'm a little tired right now, only got 3-4 hours sleep within the last 2 days. Maybe I'll be able to get some sleep after work (I'm here now -- midnight job) and think a little more clearly. good bye!

Something to PRAISE GOD about!

I wanted to interrupt this crazy day to post something VERY COOL! You will not believe it -- but it's true and because it's so unbelieveable you will have to believe that it was a GOD thing!
We were blessed with a vehicle! That's right someone GAVE us a car! Halleluia!!! How can I keep from praising Him? I can't, He does so much! Unexpected! Awesome!
Blessings and more blessings on the family who it came from! I love you!

He is there even in the midst of the storm!

Trauma: life in this family!

Today was an extremely traumatic day. It started off fine, regular and then got great even. But then it happened.....a mother's worst nightmare! My oldest (Daniel age 11) had detention after school. 2 days this week, yesterday and today, at the end of school until 3:15, which then I would have to pick him up. Ok fine, he deserved it so fine. It was actually his first time getting detention and here we are 2 weeks from the end of the school year, I think he's done pretty well to this point. Yesterday went fine, he came right out at 3:15, apparently they had been counting down the last minute. Here's the routine, I pick up the younger 2 kids from the Elem. School at 2:20 so instead of going all the way home, we go to the library which literally is right next door to the schools. The schools (Daniel's Middle school and the Elementary), are together (they even share the cafeteria) at the end of a dead end road, and it loops around so you pass the library going to and from the schools. So I take the kids there for about 40 minutes, then load them up, pick up Daniel and then home we go. Not a bad situation, not what I would want for Daniel but still. So I go today to pick him up after being at the library. I park right in front of the school (on time), no Daniel. I wait about 5-7 minutes, no Daniel. I go into the school, after waiting a few minutes at the door trying to get someone's attention. I ask where the detention room is (it changes each day) they get a kid to take me there and he gets a little lost. I finally get to the room, the teacher's back is to me and he's talking with a kid, but no Daniel in the room and after a few minutes there, he turns and says that Daniel never made it to detention. Slight panic. So, I figured that buzzard took the bus home and now he's been home for over an hour with no supervision. He's in big trouble. I race home, it takes a few minutes. No Daniel. Real Panic. I have a kid go to the neighbor's, no one home. I call the church (cell phones do not work because we don't have money yet to pay the bill) Ramon is still there, YES! I tell him what happened, he races home. I notice there are calls on the phone, 2 from the school at 2:50 and 3:00. There is a message. While I am trying to get through the first one (haven't figured out how to skip and the person leaves a 3 minute message!!!) the phone beeps in and its my dad. "Did you lose a son?" he asks. YES! WHERE IS HE???? "He's here with me, a teacher dropped him off." WHAT????? "They couldn't get a hold of you so they brought him here." DID THEY TALK TO YOU??? "No, my cell phone was off because I'm at work." THEN HOW DID THEY KNOW THAT YOU WOULD BE THERE??? "I don't know."
This is when I lost it. Relief flooded over me, knowing that Daniel was safe and with my dad. And then total ANGER took over at the situation. Why did a teacher, whoever it was, take my child in their car? It was not his direct teacher, it was an auxillary teacher (who I will not name). Why did they take them in their car WITHOUT permission? Why didn't they keep calling or keep trying other emergency numbers? Why couldn't they leave him with another person at the school or stay a little longer? Why didn't the detention teacher call the office to report a missing student? Why didn't the office have a list of people in detention and so that he would be called to the curb? Why didn't the homeroom teacher make sure he got to detention? Why didn't Daniel just go to detention? All these things I am so upset about. Daniel was at total fault, totally his fault. He KNEW he had detention. But why are there not checks and balances in place to make sure an 11 year old child gets to where he needs to go? I'm going to be talking about all of this to the principal tomorrow morning. I will get answers or I will not leave.
I am thankful, of course, that Daniel is safe and home in is own bed. Whatever happened in that hour and a half will come to the light and hopefully some policy changes at the school. I am thankful for my husband for being so calm in the storm. He really did step up to the plate. I'm thankful for my church, who got on the prayer lines immediately, and rejoiced in the quick answer. I'm so thankful for my dad, who was there for Daniel. He sometimes works in a different town but he was there today and was willing to keep Daniel till Ramon picked him up without a second thought. I'm thankful that today was Wednesday and I was able to relax at church after everything settled down. I got some great parenting advice from my pastor as an extra added bonus. This could have been so much worse than it was. I'm really thankful for that. Pray that I talk to the school respectively that I would be able to bring things up that may be painful to hear in the right way. That change would be forthcoming because of this. That I would know who is really at fault (Daniel) and not to attack the school when it was not originally their fault. But that changes would be made so that something like this would never happen to another child. Especially not mine!

I Appreciate my MOM!

Happy Mother's Day out there to all you mothers! What an honor and privilege to be someones mom! I am so thankful for this Mother's Day, my husband went all out for breakfast and dinner/lunch for me!! 3 cheese omelet, steak with melted cheese, Brussels sprouts, YUMMY!!!!
I wrote a "poem" or whatever you want to call it for my mom, here it is:

I don't remember the exact moment it happened
But I really appreciate having YOU as my mother.
As a teen when you would listen with both ears,
As a child helping me with all the projects I had
And making it fun,
As a young adult, treating me as such and as a friend
Instead of a big child, even though I always will be,
And now as a mother myself, knowing what I know and
Realizing everything and more of what you went through
Since the day I was born
I truly appreciate, thank and honor you!

I am so thankful for my mother. She is a really fun person, full of life. She has done so much for me, not the least of which is protect me from horrible things and make it fun to be part of the family so that I didn't have to look elsewhere to find acceptance and love. I hope I can instill that in my children. What a massively huge job that is! Can seem overwhelming sometimes but after today's sermon (thanks Pastor Rena!) there's GRACE to cover me. Grace is God's ability to do through me what I can't do by myself. I can't mother my 5 children by myself. I can do it with and through God which is GRACE! Thank you Lord for Grace. I never want to forget that otherwise the weight of the world is on me, this way it is on the Lord where it should be anyway!
I'm so thankful that I am a mother, God has used it to show me so many things about Him. WOW so much to say about the subject of motherhood. For now, I will leave it at that and let it soak in for a while.

I am TIRED!

I don't think I've ever been as tired as I was this last weekend. I started a job working nights 12am to 8am to be exact so it's really working early mornings. I am a dispatcher who calls on alarms that go off in people's homes and businesses. You know, 24 hour monitoring? Well, that's me! There is always someone else in there with me so it's not JUST me. So if an alarm comes in we look at it and 50/50 chance it is just a test or something else that is a no-brainer just run it through and you're done. If it isn't then we have to call and see if everything is OK and if not then call the police. You get the idea, so it's an important job, but it is fairly easy with 5 alarms that come in the average hour and 2 of those requiring some sort of action. So I am really thankful for the job because not many jobs you get paid to read books or surf the web in between doing your job. It's not a lot of money but it's comparable to what I would get at Wallyworld doing back breaking stocking and on my feet the whole night. Thankful? You bet I am!
But last weekend I started this and it hit me pretty hard, plus the monthly "visitor", and BAM was I wiped out! I only got a couple hours sleep right before going to work, I would lay down when the kids went to bed (8pm) and then get up at 11:15, get ready and go. Not too bad but with everything going on that weekend and the monthly, well, you get the idea. I was so tired my head was spinning. I felt like I was made of concrete and it took everything it had in me to move. I've never been so drunk that I passed out, actually, I've never been drunk at all, but I would imagine that the way I felt was how people feel drunk or hung over. It was pretty bad! But this is the only kind of job that I can have and really I am thankful for it!! It's God's way of providing for us as we get "over the hump" with Ramon's business! Oh OK, one more thing to add to this discussion: it is FREEZING COLD in the room where I am. It's one big room about the size of a living room with a couple smaller rooms off them (bathroom with files and kitchenette with files). We could go outside for a minute, but, come on, it is 2 or 3 in the morning and I don't WANT to go outside! So we are in this little room with a million dollars worth of computer equipment and the temp has to stay at 68 degrees all the time. Now, you may think that 68 is nice and everything but when you are pretty much just sitting and can't go anywhere, in a below-ground room, it's 4 in the morning and 40 degrees outside and with 68 degree air blowing down on your head then that is not "nice". I literally wear 4 layers of shirts to go to work. Plus there is a blanket there if it just gets a little too cold. I think there needs to be a treadmill there to warm up! I need some of those Isotoner gloves so I can still type without blowing on my fingers! BUT I am THANKFUL for that cold, you know why? Because it keeps me awake!! HA! Despite the fact that I got very little sleep last weekend, I really didn't have too many problems staying awake. Funny how God works, huh?